Was digging around my archives tonight and came across these photos I’d forgotten about. This is circa 2006. Shot with a Mamiya RZ67 on 120 film which was then scanned.
I haven’t shot work like this in a long time. I miss it. Now that I’m back in DFW, I gotta contact my artsy friends and do some shoots. Excited about that prospect.
Sunset in Sonora, CA
I’ve been busy with our move and haven’t blogged in a while. It’s 2am here on the west coast and I’m feeling especially introspective and melancholy. The sun has set over our time in Sonora, CA, our home for the last year and a half. And here we are. Tomorrow we set out on the long road from Cali to Texas. It was a tough decision to make and there were -are- so many nuances and aspects of the decision to think about. We teetered back and forth on whether or not to stay. A lot of prayer went into the decision. There’s still a lot of prayer going into this continuing journey.
Long story short, I just couldn’t let go of my dreams. My creative spirit.
About 6 years ago, as I sat in a small gathering of friends and acquaintances, this guy in his early/mid-thirties opened up about his life experiences and really reflected quite soberly on where he’d been and where he was going. Then he said this line of which I’ll never forget: “I’m watching all my dreams slowly fade away.” It was the saddest statement I’d ever heard anyone say. To watch your dreams just slowly fade away.
Tonight, as I sit thinking about where I’ve been and where I’m going. Wondering how things are going to play out, wondering how Jon & I will both fare once we get to Texas, and feeling a bit nervous about such an open-ended venture. I remembered what he’d said: To watch all your dreams slowly fade away. I hadn’t thought about that sad statement in a long time. But his words echoed out to me again and I realized that that was why I had to go. Sonora was a spiritual oasis to us with amazing people who know what they believe and live what they believe. It was a peaceful place and we left with amazing memories and friends that we’ll have for a lifetime.
But I couldn’t let go of my dreams. And I realized tonight that I was slowly watching them fade away. I don’t want to be like that guy.
I don’t want to lose myself. I know I’ve lost a lot of myself over the last couple years. I’m not the same boisterous, assertive, creative person I once was. A lot of that has been muted. I’ve taken on the role of supportive wife with all that that entails (home-cooked meals, errands, keeping up a home and the myriad of endless things that make a husband happy), and the role of a minister’s wife (giving of my time & emotions to people in need), all the while adjusting to new places and different faces since we’ve moved quite a bit over the nearly 5 years that we’ve been married.
I do indeed want to be a wonderfully supportive wife who’s a joy to her husband and I do want to be a kind, Christ-like person who helps people find a better life–but I don’t want to lose myself. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to sound selfish by saying I don’t want to let go of myself. I know that as a Christian, I should let go of myself and that it’s best to let go of my selfish wants and desires. I need to be less of me and more of Him. What I mean is that I don’t want to lose the creative gifts and talents God gave me. True creatives and artists will understand what I mean when I say I don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to lose the unique effervescence that God gifted me, that spunk that was still alive and kickin’ when I left college. Sadly, it’s not so much kickin’ but shufflin’ now. And I don’t want that. I was made for so much more. I had huge dreams once upon a time. Then those dreams slowly faded away over the last couple years.
The time has come for a change. And I need to make the most of it and give it my all.
I came across this quote just a few days ago and I didn’t know at the time that I’d use it for a post about dreams and ambitions. I just knew that I liked it:
Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today. – James Dean
Then there’s this quote. One of my favorites because it speaks so clearly of what I’m experiencing:
Keep true to the dreams of your youth. – Johann Friedrich von Schiller.
Beautiful. Oh to be a youth with fresh dreams and uninhibited ambitions.
by Melinda
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I set out to shoot Leslie and her perfectly symmetrical face and then the next thing I knew, a pet bird named Rudy got thrown into the mix with Leslie jumping up and down, attempting to get Rudy to spread his wings. And spread his wings he did.
by Melinda
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This past Tuesday I was on my way to a shoot when I drove past an intriguing storefront window. Just like a raccoon, something shiny caught my eye and I turned my head completely around to stare at it although I only glimpsed it for a second. I made a mental note to find the store when I drove back after the shoot.
So gorgeous. I wanted it! I’ve only seen one other fully mirrored piece of furniture and that was in a sweet beach home in Destin, FL.
Long story short, the owner wasn’t ready to part with the piece. She got it for a $100 bucks at an antique shop in Jackson, CA. There’s a little seat that comes with it, which you can sort of see in the photo here at the left, right under the mirrored desk…or vanity…or whatever it is. I just know it’s pretty and I want it. Do I need it? No. But I would like it very much…
Anyway, check out this place. The owner was a character and I found her quite amusing. She was a self-described “bonafide hoarder.” And she wasn’t kidding….
Click on the thumbnails below and a lightbox gallery will pop up.
As a final note, I just want to say that I really appreciate those spur-of-the-moment, impromptu shoots. It keeps me from getting burnt out on photography and returns the wonder and exploration of capturing images to the art of photography. Are these my best images? Probably not. But the experience did a lot to keep me creatively fed and refreshed.
When I woke up that Tuesday morning I had no idea I’d spend an hour with some lady in a town that I’d only ever driven through. I got to meet a truly interesting lady on a day when her store wasn’t even supposed to be open since she’s closed on Tuesdays. She shared stories, talked about her life and where she’s lived, showed me photos and even gave me a blue flowered, scalloped-edged handkerchief I was admiring. I’ll probably never see her again but it was an an experience. And a unique one at that. I like spending time with interesting people, getting to know them & what they’re concerned about on this vast earth and even snapping a few pics of their environment. Good times. Thanks for reading.
by Melinda
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This is Justin. On his perch. In fact, he made his perch. He found the legs somewhere and the rest is history. He brought the “prop” in himself. Good thinking Justin. ‘Cause it goes great with the red walls. And the green shirt with the slightly strange and eerie satellite–yes, yes, yes. Excellent choice.
Also check out this hilarious YouTube makoever video with Aaron Marino featuring Justin and his green shirt. Skip to 6:50.
And if you still need something to look at: Check out Justin and his leading lady here.
by Melinda
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by Melinda
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